Many of my counselling clients, apart from the issues they are struggling with, have an additional difficulty: they beat themselves up for ‘needing’ counselling. A lot of people grapple with the guilt of not being able to ‘snap out of it’. Maybe you are familiar with the feeling that you are the only one who can’t deal with this problem; maybe at some point you have had the nagging thought, that you are making it worse by overthinking it. This could be worsened by the fact that there is no evident cause for how you are feeling, or that someone else in a similar situation reacted differently, or the people around you don’t quite understand what’s going on or how to help you.
I want to clarify this to all the people contemplating seeing a counsellor, and those who are thinking of dropping out of counselling – the fact that you decided to seek help is a mark of great strength. I am not just saying this to encourage you, I really and truly believe it. For any sort of positive change to occur, the basic pre-requisite is accepting that something needs to change or is not going as well as it could.
A lot of people live in denial that there is an issue to be addressed because it is too painful to admit otherwise. Probably you have denied this in the past too (or are still doing it). And you know that the discomfort that you feel while revealing your innermost fears sometimes feels much worse than pretending that everything is ok. Where is this feeling stemming from? Seeking help is a sign that you are accepting that something beyond your capacity is bothering you. It requires you to feel vulnerable. And that definitely is not easy.
When I say that seeking counselling or any sort of professional help is a strong positive in your favour, I mean that it is a first major hurdle crossed. It may not be an easy progress, and it may be something that takes up more time than you first imagined, but I assure you that if you persevere, you will come through it stronger and more fulfilled.