“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, says William Shakespeare. And there is research to prove the same! A new study reveals that couples in a long distance relationship when compared to geographically closer couples, experienced more intimacy, communication and satisfaction overall. Being in a long distance relationship is not easy. And a big shout out to everyone who has ever been or is in one!
Relationships take effort to be maintained and cherished. Although all relationships have their algorithms and processes to work, long distance relationships have a different mix altogether.
What are they things that make long distance work?
Controlled Communication is the key: No kidding. Long distance is tough. But remember that the both of you are leading two different lives which you might only assume you know. Keeping in touch 24/7 or wanting to every aspect of your significant other’s life every day is not only tiresome but can get annoying. Give yourself and your partner some space too. Trying to compensate not meeting or seeing each other by talking will result in a frustrating relationship. Remember, less is more. And consider this time as the time to discover yourself. You will never know what you want until you truly understand yourself first.
Chuck the tech: When it comes to keeping a long distance relationship special, leave out the chats and the WhatsApp messages. Keep it simple. Keep it old school. Write. It can be anything and it doesn’t have to be the ONLY means of communication. Writing or sending each other gifts can bring about a lot of changes in a relationship. It can bring you closer as a couple. And creates a language of romance that only the both of you will share. Penning down your memories together and the love you have for each other on paper is something that cannot be duplicated. Slowly, you will start cherishing the time you put aside to write, and in the process, you communicate your feelings.
Do things together, apart: Just because you both aren’t together doesn’t mean that you cannot do things together. Watch a favorite movie, TV series or even the same music together! Video call each other during the movie or call each other after that funny scene! Laugh about it! On the most tiresome days, this can bring about a smile on your face.
Communicate goals, reassure trust: Not being together can and will stir a whirlwind of feelings between you and your partner. It is natural human behavior to have assumptions and this in turn can cause a lot of clashes. So, avoid it and stay in the clear. Communicate with clarity and openness. This will strengthen the relationship and destroy any bouts of doubts that might occur later.
Discuss your comfort zones with each other: Although you are in different places, discuss what makes you and partner comfortable and what doesn’t. Speak and establish ground rules to the relationship even if it takes time. If you disagree on something, compromise. It takes effort and team work.
Make future plans: Other than meeting once in a while, there has to be something to look forward to. Long distance relationships are not for the long term if there is nothing to keep it together later. Speak about how you plan on spending your future together. This could be taking a holiday together or taking your relationship to the next phase or whatever you and partner might consider important. Fill your future with colours and plan this together. This is the motivation that will keep the relationship fueled
Keep the spark alive: Keep things fun and light. Add excitement to your relationship by doing things differently once in a while. The spark of wanting to be together keeps the relationship alive and revives the moment you meet, even after months!
Long distance is definitely difficult and takes a lot of effort from both sides, but the meet is worth every moment spent apart.