Have you evaluated the pattern in your relationship?

healtheminds

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Humans are made up of patterns. Patterns that can shift, change and improve. These patterns can be harmful if these patterns are unhealthy, especially in a relationship. Read my article to know more about how this can affect you as a person.

But what are the kind of unhealthy relationships that are persistently causing disruptions? What can you do to identify and change it?

  • Changing your partner

Friends and clients have spoken about how they feel compatible with their partners, yet they feel that there is scope to                 change or mould their partners to make the relationship even more perfect. Somehow, there is always a sense of hope                 that the other person in the relationship should change for the better. Although, change and improvement is one of the               reasons of a successful relationship, this should never be a reason to begin a relationship. Every individual has their own             traits, and a relationship based on the hope of change is a ground that is way too unstable for a strong home.

  • Holding on to what can become of it

Knowing or imagining a life with a partner and thinking of the future with them is great. But what about the present?                  What critically goes wrong in a lot of relationships is the thought of a happy future, which is loosely based on the present;          which is the truth. While this can be quite difficult to understand, most of us cling on to ‘what could have been’ rather that          the ‘what is happening’. Assess the present as it is and look for a practical future, which makes the both of you happy,                  individually and together.

 

  • Making public expression a priority

Recent studies have stated that couples who post a lot about their relationships on social media tend to lack happiness                with themselves. Turns out, speaking about your relationship on social media, or engaging in a lot of affection in public              results in seeking for external validation. Having boundaries and keeping communication open in the relationship and                expressing to each other will help enhance the relationship and avoid any other sort of validation

 

  • Suppressing or avoiding fights
    There might be a lot of misunderstanding that could be floating around in the relationship. Make sure that you and your partner find a way to communicate this with each other. In the typical ‘Fairytale’ story, there is a happily ever after which is assumed to have no fights. In reality however, anger and frustration are part of a relationship that is quite essential for its survival as well. Discuss problems that are present. Avoid fighting or discussing issues in front of others. Keep things private and mutually agree to solutions.

 

  • Constant togetherness
    Yes, being in a relationship for a lot of people can mean constantly doing everything together. Take some time off, have some space for yourself. Solitude in a relationship is equally important when it comes to happiness together. Solitude makes sure that you have time to yourself and makes the time you send with your significant other more valuable.

 

A relationship is always give and take. There is balance and harmony is equally working things out and contributing to the effort of maintaining the relationship. Although, having said that, there will be times where a third person or a counsellor will need to play a role in improving your relationship. Do not hesitate to make that call and know that there are always concerned people who are there for you.