Are you at peace with yourself ?

Cherian Kuruvila

Published on


Is being at peace with yourself a real state of being, a distinct possibility? Or is beyond the grasp of most of us mortals who have our hands, minds and hearts filled with so many to-do’s, so many expectations, so many pressures or insecurities coming out from our career, family, relationships, kids, their academics, financial and ego needs to stay ahead or even from past baggage?

The picture says clearly which comes first – the peace and then the result. How often in this mad pursuit of career, titles, money, power, new ventures, goals our wonderful egos often get the better of us.

And just that chase itself can be so stressful not just for us but for our entire circle of influence at work, home and elsewhere. We are far too busy to realise that the ones getting affected the most are we ourselves, but alas the power of the mind is such that we happily justify to ourselves – just another year or two and I will try and step back a bit, slow down, take that long needed break, do the things I love…..

Here are a few tips you could try for yourself and most importantly try and keep simple

  • Try a relaxation technique like deep breathing or yoga or meditation or prayer. In my case it’s been a combo of all of them for over 35 years daily without fail. In this fast paced world, adding more high impact sports gets the heart beating even more and is pretty popular. Maybe slowing things down can be equally beneficial and actually more calming 🙂
  • Meditation is such a powerful tool – a lot of people who see the calm side of me ask me my secret. Then they tell me they do not have the patience to sit still by themselves more than 10 minutes quietly and focus. They are so busy with life and their minds are so hyper active. They in fact are the ones who need it the most to help slow down and relax.
  • My advice – try meditation first thing in the morning for 20 mins to start with when you are just up after a reasonable rest as the mind is still not rushing away with things to do for the day. If you can manage it once again later in the evening that will be a bonus. I remember how I used to get back home nice and fresh from long work days and commutes just because I caught up with a quick round of meditation on the way back or soon as I reached back. Given that I vouch for this after 35 years is proof enough how it helps.
  • Maintain a discipline and uniformity in whatever you do, be it wake up time, sleep time, meal time, how much you eat or drink, what you eat or drink – respect your body. But don’t lead a monk’s life – break the routine and do something wild or different if doing that makes you feel good and alive and you feel like doing it then 🙂
  • Grow in life by treating everyone with respect, not by politicking or trampling over the less fortunate or peers and juniors at work or otherwise just because that option exists. Be humble and down to earth, it’s so much better and brings you respect.
  • Compete with yourself and stop competing with others be it on designation, cars, house, paychecks, bonuses, holidays, life style. Be happy and grateful with what you have. Best way for peace of mind J
  • Accept people the way they are–faults and all, and do not judge them from your high pedestal and standards. Ego is a dirty word and leads to more problems than it solves.
  • Stop blaming others for your ills. The buck starts and stops with you so just get moving ahead.
  • Ensure enough money for financial security for the family, but do not be so obsessed with it that the highs and lows of earnings and losses itself is a cause of ulcers. How much is enough depends on what you decide is enough. Money does not buy happiness and peace for sure beyond a point, so seeing families fighting and breaking up over the hard earned wealth left by their parents is really sad.
  • Help a good cause that makes you feel you are giving back to society and the underprivileged in your own little way.
  • It is also about not letting people or thoughts distract you from what gives you peace. What meditation does is also in a way give you a sense of detachment and be in the present, be more practical and accepting about life, rather than regret the past or worry about the future beyond what is truly deserves. Life, people, events have to move on. Can be misconstrued sometimes as being cold, unemotional .. but as long as what others think does not disturb you its fine.

At the end life is all about making the choices that make YOU happy, keeping it uncomplicated, enjoying the little pleasures, laughing more, taking hurdles as an opportunity to learn and living each day as a gift of life to make the best of it for yourself and the lives you touch and influence and impact.

As a Mentor and Coach that’s just what I aim to do every day – helping others help themselves, realise their true potential, help them identify their fault lines to try and make a positive difference to as many people as I can influence and touch every day or week.

I have never been more at peace. At the end I guess its all about following what your mind tells you to, not to please or impress others, but to please yourself and make you think good, feel good , act good and spread the good.

And hope in some way it inspires some change in your routine too to make YOU love YOURSELF more by feeling better and help you enter that beautiful world where you are more at peace with yourself than you have been in a long time 🙂

Do feel free to share this article if in any way it can help make a difference to you and your circle of influence . May the peace be with you 🙂

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