Regardless of whether an individual is a professional or paraprofessional counselor, multiple skills go into the making of an effective counselor. Whether the counselor is highly skilled and trained or has had a basic foundation in counseling skills, what is common to both is definitely understanding and acceptance. It is of course an individual counselor’s choice as to how and how much to grow as a professional and as a person. The counseling process at times can compel the counselor to reflect on the change and growth that he/she needs to experience in order to be an effective counselor to the client currently and for future sessions and clients. The more a counselor chooses to grow and learn, the more rewarding is his/her professional life and personal life will be. Work, ongoing professional development(attending workshops, seminars, conferences), reading, hobbies and life experiences aid the counselor to not only be the be the best of who he/she can be but also offer the best of his/her being to the client.
It is noteworthy that playing the role of a counselor does not mean that the individual stops being himself/herself and puts on a different hat and sets of skills solely for the purpose of counseling a client, couple or a group of clients. The counselor is actually required to use all of his/her being and personality in the counseling process, right from the initial session to termination. This means being genuine, especially. Self-disclosure, for example, is a skill to aid the counselor in coming across as genuine to the client and not hide behind an impenetrable façade. The counselor needs to convey the humanness to the client for growth and change to occur. A counselor has the motivation and intent to be of assistance to other with their ability to think on their feet and to feel with their heart.
Diagnosis, keeping the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, now DSM-5) and/or the ICD-10, is important and useful. It serves as a guide as to what to do or not to do next for the client. For example, if a counselor feels that a client is facing clinical depression, no amount of counseling and therapy would benefit the client and it would be extremely frustrating for the counselor as well. However, if the counselor is skillfully able to direct the client into visiting a psychiatrist (who would probably stabilize the mood of the client with medication), then after two to three weeks into psychotropic medication, the client would more likely be in a frame of mind to accept psychotherapy. A couple of other examples are when the counselor is dealing with an individual with alcohol and substance abuse or Antisocial Personality Disorder. In these cases, the counselor should refer the client for specialized services (Rehabilitation centre). However, while these clients are within the session, the counselor can avoid experiencing panic and treat them just like any other client, that is, with genuineness, respect, empathy and unconditional positive regard. One can provide supportive therapy rather than uncovering the unconscious in these instances. Supportive therapy is also useful when time is limited. Also, it is important to not convey any judgement(s) about the client’s state of mind to the client, in the process of effective helping. Diagnosis is a tool for guiding the helping process.
Another element in effective counseling is conveying warmth to the client and the judicious use of pauses/silence throughout the journey with the client. Right from rapport-building to termination. Thus keenly listening to what the client is saying (verbal as well as non-verbal language) and also to what he/she is not saying, is important. Active and effective listening leads to healing. Effective counseling consists of experiencing along with the client and it is not something that we impose or “do” to the client. The counselor is a real person just like the client and thus the relationship is not fake, but real. However, to keep one’s sanity and a healthy balance between assisting other persons and one’s personal life and pursuits, the counselor has to be careful not to overextend himself/herself in the role of a counselor. Overextending would also mean a contamination of roles, leading to corruption of the counseling process which could harm the client and/or the counselor. Thus the counselor serves as a model for creating and maintaining boundaries within the helping relationship. The client would experience the benefits of counseling and psychotherapy within these boundaries.
In addition to listening keenly to the client, equal weight and attention needs to be paid to oneself during, before and after the session(s). If there are strong feelings and reactions (helplessness, anger, fright, feeling depressed) on the part of the counselor, these need to be examined and resolved. Effective counseling occurs when the client and therapist/counselor match is conducive to the goals of therapy. It can happen that the client and counselor match does not work out. In these cases, the counselor can avoid blaming oneself, as there is no such thing as a supremely competent, capable and perfect counselor. Clients seeking “perfect” counselors will be in for surprises, both pleasant and unpleasant. They will find to their amazement that the counselor is also a person with strengths and flaws. They will also find that counselors too like everyone else face challenges and thus this helps them to not put the counselor on a pedestal. Healing can happen when this common ground is realized.
It is a reality that each and every counselor cannot help each and every client. The counselor needs to face and accept this. There are bound to be failures not only as amateurs but also as experienced counselors and psychotherapists. In these instances, the counselor can deal with the client and the self in a sensitive manner to avoid discouragement and burnout (and avoid damage to the client). Also, doing quality work is far more important than quantity of clients and work because we are dealing with human lives, each of which is worthy and important.
All in all, in the process of providing a corrective emotional experience to the client, the counselor needs to attend to the client’s needs (his/her goals of counseling) as well as to the self (work and leisure balance) so that effective counseling takes place. In addition, the counselor should consult another counselor for issues which crop up in professional and personal life as these issues can affect work and personal life of the counselor.